Jack, the Catholic (who really likes Isla)

In a previous post I spoke of Jack, the friend of my daughter Isla. It has been over two years since they met, and they have now officially been dating for more than a year. Initially, the flap was over the age difference, a full four years. In the early stage of their friendship, that dominated our thinking. We thought of him as "Jack, the 21-year-old." As he came to be more of a regular fixture, however, we forgot about the age difference, and he became simply "Jack, the boy who really likes Isla."

At that point, however, began the serious business of getting to know the kid. And there is where we ran headlong into the first hurdle—faith differences. Jack comes from a deeply religious and beautifully faith-filled home where love for God is carefully taught and modeled by his parents. The difference is that his family is Catholic, while we are non-denominational evangelicals. Catholics and evangelicals agree on the most important aspects of faith, but as they say, the devil is in the details. For the moment, this issue has become paramount, so he has now become—just while we work this through—"Jack, the Catholic (who really likes Isla)." What we are realizing is that Catholics and evangelicals play well together, but they do not necessarily marry well together.

We knew Jack was Catholic before they started dating. My spidey senses told me, however, that he was more than a solid character, and I was hopeful his brand of Catholicism matched our evangelical faith better than the average, run-of-the-mill Catholics we knew (those who are more Catholic by heritage, rather than by faith).To start, he and his seven siblings were or will be homeschooled all the way through high school. Further, without knowing that this was very much on my (or Isla's) radar, he showed Isla pictures of his church and the flowers for which his family was responsible during the Christmas season. He also showed her a picture of the Halloween pumpkin he had carved the previous year: an impressive rendering of the face of Jesus. Hello! He won some brownie points there!

But in addition to those things, just my sense of Jack was that he lacked the worldliness typical of most college sophomores. He still lived at home with his parents and siblings, and his younger siblings clearly adored him. We definitely got the feeling that Isla was his first real girlfriend. And he took the remarkable step of calling Tom, going out to lunch with him, and asking his permission to date her. I assumed at the time that his parents had put that idea into his head in light of the age difference, but no! That was all his own idea and his own initiative.

So, while I knew we were going to have to discuss Catholicism eventually, all these things made it easy to keep it on the back burner for the moment.

Jack's mom was much more forward thinking. Apparently she had alarm bells ringing and red flags waving from the get-go, and sadly, she was not being unreasonable—there is an issue here. These kids are both surrounded by people who care deeply about their respective faith traditions, the faith of their children, and the faith of their future grandchildren. Moreover, Isla and Jack themselves care deeply, irrespective of their families and friends.

Isn't something topsy-turvy here though? We have a problem because two young people who love the Lord—the same Lord—were raised with different ideas of what it means to worship Him (the same Him). Shouldn't this be reconcilable? Isn't the most important aspect of this that they love Jesus and honor Him as Lord?

Yeeessssss....but. But. But, but, but.

I had been giving it a lot of thought even before it came to a head. To a large degree, this a man-made division. To the extent that the kids each seek Jesus actively, personally and directly, the issue evaporates. Jesus is the object of our worship. He is the goal. The church, whether Catholic or evangelical, is a tool we Christ followers use to help us in our pursuit of knowing Him better and obeying Him more fully, that's all.

As a computer science major in college, I once had a conversation with a guy getting an engineering degree. He told me he viewed computers as a necessary tool, like a pencil—obliquely casting aspersions on my chosen major. He discreetly left it there, but I understood his point: he was interested in what the pencil could do for him, but not in the pencil itself. He would never make a career of studying pencils!

In the same way, I wonder if we are we in danger of worshiping the vehicles of our faith rather than the Author of the faith? Sometimes, I am afraid we are. And I do not think one tradition is less guilty of this than the other! We all have a tendency to be lazy in our pursuit of Christ, preferring to rest on our alliance with the church we believe to be the "true" one.

I hope we recognize that each tradition brings to the worship its own beauty and grace. Evangelicals bring a focus on a personal relationship with God and an emphasis on personal study of the Word. Catholic mass fosters a sense of awe and wonder in the presence of a holy God, something that can get lost in an informal evangelical service. Evangelicals rejoice in the confidence of their salvation through Christ's work on the cross with no stipulations, no hoops to jump through. Catholic sacraments provide formal opportunities to express publicly our love for the risen Savior and our trust in His saving work. Evangelicals emphasize small group Bible studies to discuss the Word and to encourage each other through fellowship. Catholics embrace the beautiful and trustworthy language of the ancient liturgies, succinct and powerful reminders of the bedrock of our faith. What richness could come from bringing the two traditions together!

Let's be honest here. Jack believes Catholicism to be the truth, but he is not Catholic because he believes it is the truth. He is Catholic because he was born into a Catholic family. In the same way, Isla believes evangelicalism to be the truth, but she is not an evangelical because she believes it is the truth. She is an evangelical because that is what she born into. Period.

My point is that Jack and Isla were each presented with the truth about Jesus as young children. They both grabbed hold of Him and wanted Him in their lives (something not every child from a religious home does). From their hearts, they each fully ascribed to the faith traditions of their families as the only means they were given to live out the faith they accepted. Catholic or evangelical, they both started in the same place: a readiness to receive Christ.

So why do we have a problem?

Well, Catholics do hold beliefs that evangelicals could never swallow. Transubstantiation seems to get a lot of press when there is talk of where the traditions diverge, but really, I suspect it's only for the fun of saying the word. If you want to believe that the bread and cup become the actual body and blood of Christ, you have at it. I cannot imagine why it should bother anyone what one person believes or doesn't believe regarding that. And maybe there are some other differences that each party can easily roll with.

But (sigh), there are thornier issues at hand. And this is where Jack's mom is coming from, I'm sure.

My brilliant brother-in-law, who is getting his Master's degree in biblical studies, sent me a paper he wrote outlining the differences between Catholicism and evangelicalism. More precisely, it was a precis, which is apparently what you call a book report once you're out of the third grade. So these are the points presented in the highly regarded book, Roman Catholicism and Evangelicalism, by Norman L. Geisler and Ralph E. MacKenzie.

This paper was literally a Godsend as faith conversations between Isla and Jack became increasingly foggy and chaotic, possibly even slightly acrimonious. The paper is divided into three sections: Areas of Doctrinal Agreement, Areas of Doctrinal Differences, and Areas of Practical Cooperation. As I read the first section, the Areas of Doctrinal Agreement, I wanted to stand up and cheer. Yes! Do you see? These are the most important and glorious things, and we agree!!! How could we ever argue when we agree about these wonderful things?

Then came the Areas of Doctrinal Differences. I steeled my heart and held my breath, but I could not forestall the cold realization that, indeed, Catholics and evangelicals do not swim in the same stream.

The third section, Areas of Practical Cooperation, buoyed my spirits slightly, but led me to the depressing conclusion with which I began this post: Catholics and evangelicals play well together, but do not marry well together.

 Maybe there is still hope. After all, Isla does not want to marry the Catholic church; she wants to marry Jack. And whether Jack knows it or not, Jesus does not look at him through the prism of the Catholic church. He looks at Jack, just Jack, all by himself.

I am suggesting that although he is Catholic, maybe Jack himself, for example, does not see the sacraments as causes of redemption, but rather symbols of redemption. The Catholic perspective of institutionalizing salvation through required sacraments is an absolute showstopper for an evangelical. The nuances of Jack's beliefs about the sacraments make all the difference. Other examples: Maybe believing in papal infallibility does not represent a cornerstone of his belief system. And does believing in the sinlessness of Mary constitute heresy from an evangelical standpoint? Maybe it's just faulty theology, until you cross the line and begin to worship her, and maybe Jack stays on the evangelical side of that line. And does Jack really believe that the priest can absolve him from sin? Is the priest's work a necessary adjunct to Christ's work on the cross? Or does he simply find welcome relief from guilt as he confesses his sin to another human being (James 5:16).

These are troubling and nuanced discussions. Truthfully, before Isla came along, I am not sure Jack himself would ever have had reason to think through these things. The other day Jack was over and I pounced on the opportunity to yammer at him about all that was bottled up in my heart regarding these things. I did way too much talking and not nearly enough listening. He said at one point, "I could just start talking about what I believe, but I think I would just end up saying stupid things. I think I should go find out more about these things first." What a wise answer! You see why I like this kid? (Proverbs 18:13, 17:28; James 1:19, 3:1-12)

Nevertheless, I have to believe, and I believe this with my whole heart, that the more they tread lightly with regard to their respective religions, but rather focus on the Author of their faith, the more likely everything will fall into place.

Tread lightly.

The more they try to force an evangelical girl into a Catholic belief system,

the more they try to pry a Catholic boy away from his beloved heritage,

the more they are headed for heartache, conflict and tears. It could be their undoing.

If they succeed, one of them could end up violating his or her conscience. If they fail, they could end up abandoning their faith foundations altogether in favor of a weak and tepid fellowship with each other. Neither is a good option.

So the day Jack was over, this was my (regrettably cheesy) take-away for them: chase Jesus. Just chase Jesus together, actively and visibly. Dance with all your hearts on the common ground. Somehow He will have the answers for them that Jack's mother and I do not have. I believe He can make this work out.

Jack, the Catholic, loves Isla, the evangelical. That is the earthbound view. How will their story end?

The Question of a King

My job is to walk with You. I don't need all the things my flailing heart has been seeking. I only need to nestle close to You and walk with You and listen for Your voice.

Just like the Israelites wanted a king rather than You... I have wanted a job. I have wanted You to give me a place and an income and an assignment where I can say, “This is what God wants me to do,” and then just DO it. Rather than making the effort to seek YOU and Your beautiful face and Your beautiful voice every moment of every day.

But it's the same. The Israelites didn't like the idea of a relationship with You. They just wanted a king to follow, a king to take responsibility for them, rather than interacting with You as You led them directly. A king was a relationally lazy way out for them. No relationship, no faith, just follow.

And that's what I have been wanting with a job. Just give it to me and I'll do it. No daily seeking of Your face, no moment by moment awareness of Your Presence and seeking of Your approval, no daily dependence on You for sustenance. A job that would provide some measure of (perceived) security for the future, a social "place" and reason to be alive, a purpose. It would give me an IDENTITY. People I meet would say, “What do you do?” And I could reply, “Oh, I work for _____ doing _____.”

Rather than seeking You and following Your direction day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. Trusting You for purpose, for provision, for identity. You are so much better, my good Father.  

This is an excerpt from my quiet time journal. It was a wonderful epiphany the Lord gave me as I walked Oliver the other day, and it has been on my heart every since. I have always been frustrated with the Israelites when I have read this story, so it was a joy, actually, to see how it applied in my life as well. Not that it was a joy to see how wrong I had been, but it was a joy to make the right choice in the depths of my heart—unlike the Israelites.

In pondering this over the course of the week, it occurs to me too that this is the downfall of a lot of organized religion as generations go by. While all the Christian denominations were begun with sincerity of heart and purpose, as the years pass, the rituals and customs that began in genuine worship, have come to be meaningless to the congregants. They have come to provide the lazy way out of a relationship with God, or at least, fill unthinking people with that perception, don’t they?  I know that many catechists and Sunday school teachers work hard to instill in little ones the depth of the meaning behind the rituals in which they are about to engage. How much sinks in? And how LONG does it stick? Not too long for most, I’m afraid. The intent is there, but it’s too often lost in the hearts of the participants. Congregants of these religions want to just follow the rules of their religion, and not bother with a relationship with their Creator. Just like I have been longing for a job and/or a place in ministry, rather than walking day by day with Jesus, seeking His instruction for the day. Not for my life as a whole, but for that day. For that moment. For that person I am interacting with just then. It’s a lot harder.

I am more excited to be a part of His kingdom, of His will, to walk and talk with Him in secret, than to brandish the identity of the world on my chest through a job, an income, a social circle, a ministry. I am His and He is mine, in secret, and that is all I need to be.