The Great Physician

My mother-in-law stopped by yesterday. I love to see her, but I have learned over the years that when she stops by unannounced, it’s because she has something serious on her mind. Yesterday was no exception.

After the usual pleasantries, she quickly got to the point. Her daughter, Karla, had married her girlfriend.

Karla and her friend Carol moved in with my mother-in-law a year ago. It was a blessing because Mom wasn’t quite able to afford living in her house anymore on her own. Yet Tom and I had strong suspicions about the nature of Karla and Carol’s relationship. Did Mom too? No one was willing to broach the subject, including Karla and Carol.

It turns out Mom had understood what was going on from the beginning, and diplomatically ignored it. But now it was out in the open. There were rings. No more pretending.

Naturally, she was upset. She said, “I just want to know my daughter is going to heaven.”

“Well,” I reasoned, quite unhelpfully, “Spiritually speaking, nothing has changed from before they were married, just two weeks ago.” That was not what she wanted to hear.

Mom said, “I know it isn’t right. It isn’t Christian. I just don’t know the verses.”

I could have found the verses for her, but I didn’t think that was going to be very helpful either. This time I was diplomatic and just nodded my head. I had already said enough that was unhelpful.

What I was struggling to convey to Mom, and what was leaving me woefully tongue-tied, is that Karla and Carol’s problem was not so much lesbianism as it was plain sin. Karla and Carol had a sin problem. Just like she and I had. And as repulsed as she may feel about lesbianism, the answer to it is the same as the answer to our sin: Jesus. Jesus, the Great Physician, the One who came to heal the sick, to bind up the broken-hearted, and to redeem us from the sin that desperately entangles us all—not just lesbians.

I was reminded of an incident that happened a couple summers ago while our family was on vacation. Tom was in the house, and the kids and I were down at the beach with our dog, Oliver. Oliver was running through the beach grass and didn’t see a horseshoe spike hidden in the weeds. As he leaped over it, the sharp top caught his underbelly, and he ended up filleted in a most horrific manner.

At his cries, the entire family was mobilized into action. I ran over to him and began barking orders to the kids. “Beatriz! Get me a towel to wrap him in!” “Reed, go tell your dad to put shoes on and get ready to go.” “Dom, get online and find a vet in the area.”

Of course, it was a holiday weekend, so we were lucky to find a vet open at all. But we did. They took great care of him, and he has lived to tell the tale.

Oliver needed a doctor, and the entire family jumped into action to get him there.

Karla and Carol need a doctor. They need the Doctor.

When Oliver got hurt, none of us even looked at the wound. Not one minute was wasted in examining the injury, discussing the damage, guessing at the prognosis, or debating the next step. We knew that we could not help him. His situation was beyond our expertise or abilities. None of our opinions or deliberations would be of any use at all. With great urgency, we devoted all our energy and resources to getting him to the doctor who could help him.

Likewise, with Karla and Carol, is this the time to pronounce judgment, debate genetics, and argue legislation? Rather isn’t it time, with great urgency, to get the doctor involved?

Oliver had been playing in the water and was soaking wet. He had also been playing on the beach, so every inch of his body was also coated in sand. Now, his entire underbelly was ripped open, and the open wound was also coated in sand. The one private structure located in that region was almost taken off. Was the urethra severed? Even the doctor wouldn’t know until he was able to get him into surgery. This was very messy business.

Sexual orientation is also a messy, deeply personal, multifaceted affair. Will our disappointment, bewilderment or opposition do any good – anymore than my clumsy first aid skills would have helped Oliver?

Karla and Carol have a sin problem, and they need the answer to their sin problem. They need the same answer for their sin problem as I need for mine. We can dissect the verses and argue the genetics and examine the societal implications. But they need Jesus. We can be repelled by their perversity. We can be angry about the changes they advocate for the culture. But they need Jesus.

They do not see their own need any more than Oliver knew that he needed a veterinarian. But we see it! Let us mobilize to get them there. Let us mobilize to get them there!

What urgency we felt when Oliver was in need! How quickly the entire family jumped into action! How efficient and coordinated was every effort on his behalf! Where is our urgency for Karla and Carol?

Get them to Jesus! Get them to Jesus! Jump up! Move!

Instead, at this moment, Karla and Carol are feeling rejected by the only people around them who know the Great Physician. Whereas Mom knew what their relationship was before, it wasn’t in her face and she was able to let herself forget. Now she is uncomfortable around them. Karla isn’t wearing her rings at home, and Carol is hiding her left hand when they’re together. Conversation is labored. Mom is talking about moving out. If she doesn’t, how long before Karla and Carol are uncomfortable enough that they move out?

And yet, I understand Mom’s coolness. Her disquiet is real, but she may also sense that warmth and acceptance look a lot like tacit approval. Certainly, we do not want to condone sin. Yet, there must be a way to walk a path somewhere between cold rejection and warm blessing. We know there is because Jesus Himself walks it!

We, on the other hand, tend to waffle between rejection and rational entreaties. We try, fruitlessly and often injuriously, to change their minds. How we would rejoice if only they would forsake this aberrant behavior! But only the thinnest layer of the trouble resides in their minds and behaviors anyway. The much deeper trouble lies in a much deeper place, a place we have no admittance or understanding. We work to change the bark of the tree when the real problem lies in the sap.

Even if they were to change their behavior, their hearts would still ache, their desires would still scream, the storms would still rage in the depths of their beings, where no man has access. But there is One who does have access to these depths. He understands their deepest pain. He heals the hidden wounds. Most importantly, He loves passionately and guides those who come to Him along the paths of life. Our only power is to introduce them to that One.

And it’s not a holiday weekend. He is always open for business.