Unmoored, Retracted

I am not unmoored.  Just had to get that out there, in light of my previous post.

I thought about taking that post down.  It's so raw and unguarded -- too raw and unguarded.  I don't know why or how I ended up here in my blog as I vomited all that up all over the place.  It belonged in my quiet time journal more than here, didn't it?  And that is where stuff like that usually goes.

But I'm back to tell you that, of course, I am not unmoored;  I am not forgotten.  And God is here.

I did think about taking that post down, but in the end I have decided to leave it up precisely because I do love that I ended that day by asking that question:  Father, where are You?  I thought You would be here.

We all ask that question at some point, don't we?

My heart breaks for my poor little me that day, the sobbing child lost and alone and bewildered.  But when I find myself in that sad place and cry out to Him with an honest heart, He always appears out of nowhere to pick me up, nestle me close to His face and whisper gently in my ear, "I am here, baby.  You have no cause for sadness.  I am here."

And that's all I want.  I just want Him to be here, with me.  No matter where I am, as long as He is here, I'm okay.  None of my questions are answered, and I don't need them to be.  I only need Him.